When before a day is not a day without them, now, it’s a week is not a week w/out seeing your friends. You get to learn to adjust and realign things just for them. Just to see each other on times when life and circumstances can’t keep you together always anymore.
Until, one day you find each other finally getting use to each other’s absence. Sometimes, once a month would do. And sooner, later on, once a year would work somehow. It’s a major major realignment and believe me, you would have never thought it would end up like that.
You’re holding on to the friendship, trying to make way and trying to make a plan to organize the relationship. But sometimes, it is not that easy if you’re the only one who’s holding on.
Finally, you laid yourself low, too.
You’re exhausted on holding to things and people that are too heavy but is not working right anymore. Things that can’t be fix cause, they don’t want to be fixed. One way or the other, there’s just no point. You stopped making appointments and some time stopped talking to them. At least to feel like they would find and look for you and see if they miss you. This is so awkward and childish. But you need to know. Sometimes, this is when you’d find out that despite not hearing from each other after a long time, you’re still working fine and good and it seemed like nothing has changed, after all. You’d realize “oh, low maintenance relationships. Guaranteed a lifetime membership.” All it needs is a little polish. Fix it.
And sometimes, unfortunately, you’d realize, nope, they don’t mind. At this point, you’d know who really thinks your presence matters and your part in their life matters. This is when, things would not work anymore. Schedules, new friends, romantic relationships, there’s just a lot of road block. (I mean, these are not really hindrances if you know everybody’s working hard to make time and at least, pave their way for a little while.) Just adjustments and life. This is when you’d also realize, it’s time to weed out those dry leaves. Throw it.
I know we would want to act that we still live in a time when we don’t throw away things that easily but fix it instead. It is just hard to build again than hold on, after all. This however takes the evaluation first if it is still worth the sweat. If you think it’s not worth it, then that’s when you let it go. Like, when you’re holding into something just because you felt guilty about all the time you had spent is wasted. You’re living in the past because that is when there is no more present. You just keep on holding on to what was there before. But then remember, there are always storms on a relationship. Reckon though that when you can’t stand already after such a small and short hit, despite trying to fix it desperately afterwards, what is still there? Don’t get stuck up on a relationship that’s unhealthy and toxic. Throw it, too.
On the other hand, if you can and want to try some more despite being brought down, then try again and do not let the friendship/relationship eventually fall into ruins some more. Save some of it, then from there try to Rebuild it again, if you can. This time a stronger one if you could. If there’s something I had learned with mine, always give time. That’s one of the strongest brick in the whole masonry. Time is somehow always the key. Sometimes, fixing it is what all it takes for other relationships. Always make way to make time, if it works, then that’s all that’s missing. Time is all you need to understand and to feel deeply. No throwing needed.
Then from there, build something time can’t knock out. Something that’s full of time. Something that everybody has a part to work with so along the way when a decade or two has passed, that foundation, that relationship still stood right there where you build it. It does not fall that easily, because you are confident that everyone work as hard as you to keep the mortar together. This time, you finally keep it. For life.