The pen in my hand feels hard and tightly gripped. I’ve been thinking so hard hopefully I could put into words the thoughts that had caused me misery every morning I wake up, every night before I fall to sleep these past few days. And today once more, I sit here, in the farthest part of the room, still hoping I can finally decode the chaos of my mind. But every single day as I sit here, I am blank. I’ve been thinking how I’ve been feeling so deeply but my words fail so much on telling. It’s cracked and empty. No right words to lay my thoughts.
Nothing so far is good than just the title, “You told me you wish I was your friend”, well that was before everything. On the stage where Praises are exchanged and knots are tried to build a relationship. Then, you told me you wish you met me earlier. But, I had never wish anything about you before. But, I just wish right now that we we’re going to end this okay. I wish and sometimes I wish, I did not meet you ever. You bring noise and chaos to my world and no, sparks don’t fly between us. I think what’s going to happen is finally the best and the only best thing that had happened ever since I met you. There’s nothing really “best” that had happened. I think, we’re sending mix signals and it’s finally the right time to end it. I just know that my kind is the opposite of yours and sometimes not all opposites attract. And though I knew, I tried anyway. That until now I cannot comprehend as to why. It might be me or it might be you, but in all those days we had spent, “toxic” is the word we always leave on the path. We repel and we poison. An obvious sign that you and me will never match.
Today, when we met by the diner, you said “Hi” and I said so. I know when I finally told you “Bye, I’ll go on,” I meant that. But I thank you anyway, for making me realize maybe something about people and something about myself too. But we between my name and yours does not spell.
14 days after, I’m sorry. Things are just rough. XOXO, SomerBerry